One reason many difficult conversations start out in an adversarial manner is because they begin with opinions or emotions, rather than facts. Facts can be observed and agreed upon. An effective way to begin a difficult conversation may sound like this:
Fact: “This is what happened…” then state the facts.
Implications: “I’m concerned this could mean…” then share the implications as you see them.
Centering these conversations around objective information and their consequences can transform them into constructive dialogues, aimed at resolving issues collaboratively rather than combatively.
Productive and collaborative difficult conversations are grounded in facts and their implications.
Think of a difficult conversation you need to initiate. What are the facts? And what are the implications?